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Saturday, November 1, 2014

Women A Man Shouldn’t Marry And 10 Types of Men A Woman Shouldn’t Marry.


      If there's one thing I know about women, it's that there are 11 types of them: ten types that men do not want to marry, and then the wife type. If you're one of the ten gross unwifeable kinds, WOE BETIDE YOU, because not only are you dumb and annoying and probably love your mom too much, you also can't fulfill your womanly prime directive! Which is to get married. At all cost. To whomever. AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.
At least, that's what I learned from Samantha Daniels's "10 Types of Women That Men Do Not Want to Marry," a handy personality checklist for women who just want to be married to anyone no matter what and are eager to carve up their personalities into a freakish amalgam of bland woman-tropes so they can land the kind of man who likes women who aren't human beings. In other words...romance! The 10 types of unmanageable hags include: Miss "I Have Daddy Issues," Miss "I Want To Change You," Miss "Bossy Pants," Miss "I Live For You And I Have Nothing Else Going On," Miss "I Speak To My Mother Five Times A Day About Everything," and Miss "I Don't Eat."
Because yep. That's what people are like! We just have one personality trait each, like Smurfs. (Be sure to tune in for next week's column: "The One Type of Female Smurf that All the Other Smurfs Except One Totally Want to Bang.")
But turnabout is fair play—ladies shouldn't have to settle for just any old man, and we shouldn't be the only ones invested in self-improvement in the name of wedlock. So, after thorough scientific research, I've made my own equally sensical list, dividing all the men on earth into the ten types of men that there are. On earth. Make sure you're not any of these men and you will definitely get a whole bunch of wives—guaranteed! It's science like that!

10 Women A Man Shouldn’t Marry
1. The Late Night Texter
You know, the girl who only texts you after midnight. She’s the girl who only contacts you when she wants something, or someone to talk to. You can go weeks without hearing from this person, only to rarely get a text full of smiley faces and a message that reads, “Hey! How are you?” They aren’t consistent. Don’t fall into the trap.
2. The Gold-digger
She’s the woman who loves your wallet, bank account, and credit cards. Be sure to stay away from a woman who is only interested in material things, and how much of these things your salary can buy her.
3. The Flirt
This woman loves to flirt with strangers, waiters, and even your friends. The woman you should seek is one who flirts with you and only you, no matter the circumstance. That last thing you want is to be married to someone who will deliberately flirt with people in front or you, let alone behind your back.
4. The Liar
Don’t trust a woman who is constantly lying to you. If you continue to ignore her inconsistencies, she could eventually do something detrimental to your relationship.
5. The Flake
This is the woman who calls off dates, constantly changes plans and never shows up when she promised she would. If you think this will change once you’re married, you’re wrong. A flakey woman will never put her man first.
6. The Partier
Stay away from her. Although she may seem as a fun and outgoing, I guarantee you will be better off with someone who stays away from gatherings full of bad mistakes and regretful decisions. The lifestyle of a partier never fits well with the maturity that is needed in marriage.
7. The Quick To Judge
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but I would encourage you to stay away from the woman who constantly throws judgments at others. This is a bad habit that is not only frowned upon, but it will also hinder you from finding any type of outside friendships. Let Judge Judy stay a TV show. Don’t marry her.
8. The Immodest Dresser
The last thing you want to do is marry someone who put’s their body on display for the rest of the world to see. Without going into too much detail, I would encourage you to marry someone who respects their body enough to keep it covered and modest.
9. The Negative Nancy
She’s the woman who can find something negative in just about anything. And although there is nothing wrong with being a little skeptical, living life with someone who is constantly negative will definitely put a damper on your relationship. It’s not worth it.
10. The Cheater
I’m all for grace and second chances, but the last thing you want is to find yourself in a marriage with someone you can’t even trust. I’m a huge believe that everyone can change, but please don’t get caught up in the lie that cheating is just normal part of life. You deserve better.

10 Men A Woman Shouldn’t Marry

1. The Late Night Texter
You know, the guy who only texts you after midnight. He’s the guy who only contacts you when he wants something, or someone to talk to. You can go weeks without hearing from this person, only to rarely get a text full of smiley faces and a message that reads, “Hey! How are you?” They aren’t consistent. Don’t fall into the trap.
2. The Slacker
He’s the guy who has no dreams, vision, or passion to get up and do anything. Don’t let his smooth words trick you into a relationship that will be full of dull moments and half-hearted plans.
3. The Liar
Don’t trust a man who is constantly lying to you. If you continue to ignore his inconsistencies, he could eventually do something detrimental to your relationship.
4. The Flake
This is the guy who calls of dates, constantly changes plans, and never shows up when he promises. If you think this will change once you’re married, you’re wrong. A flakey man will never put his woman first.
5. The Cheater


I’m all for grace and second chances, but the last thing you want is to find yourself in a marriage with someone you can’t even trust. I’m a huge believe that everyone can change, but please don’t get caught up in the lie that cheating is just normal part of life. You deserve better.
6. The Partier
Stay away from him. Although he may seem as a fun and outgoing, I guarantee you will be better off with someone who stays away from gatherings full of bad mistakes and regretful decisions. The lifestyle of a partier never fits well with the maturity needed in marriage.
7. The Fake
He’s the guy who claims to be one thing, but in person never steps up to the plate. Not only is this unfair to your relationship, but you need to understand this isn’t going to stop anytime soon. Look for a man who is who he claims to be. Fakes can only pretend for so long.
8. The Hypocrite
He goes back and forth between his beliefs, standards, and regulations of life. Most of the time this man will change things to better suit his personal life. Don’t expect yourself to have a thriving relationship with someone who is constantly hypocritical in their words and actions.
9. The Flirt
This man loves to flirtatiously chat with strangers, waiters, and even your friends. The man you should seek is one who flirts with you and only you, no matter the circumstance. That last thing you want is to be married to someone who will deliberately flirt with people in front or you, let alone behind your back.
10. The Jerk
Simple. Don’t marry a jerk. You deserve more than that this guy can offer you. Look for someone who is kind, generous, selfless, and chivalrous. That last thing you want is to be embarrassed about bringing your man in public, all due to his attitude. Not to mention, verbal abuse is a widely spread problem that I don’t believe any woman should have to encounter.

 ADDITIONAL POINTS:  TYPE OF MEN THAT WOMAN SHOULDN'T MARRY 

Women often wonder if there are men out there who just won’t marry them. The answer is yes. These men are probably the type that you wouldn’t want to marry anyway! Here are the ten men you should stay away from.

1. The guy who is still hung up on his ex. He is not over her and will not marry you because you aren’t her.
2..The guy who doesn’t want a serious relationship “right now”. This is either a convenient way for him to dump you without looking like a total jerk, or he will never be ready to make that leap.
3. The guy who is always looking for something better. He is always going to be wondering if there is someone better out there, and if he thinks that he has found it, he will dump you in a second.
4. The guy who likes to hang out with guys old enough to be his sons. He will be out clubbing and being immature with younger guys, trying to pick up women to impress them.
5. The guy who is still trying to figure out what he wants from his career. He will always be more focused on his job than you.
6. The guy who is over fifty and has never been married. He is looking for Miss Right, but if he hasn’t found her yet, why would you be it?
7. The guy who doesn’t believe in monogamy. Yeah, stay clear of this one at all costs (unless you are into that kind of thing). Once a cheater, always a cheater.
8. The guy who is all about himself. He only thinks of him, not anyone else. He won’t care about your feelings or thoughts because they aren’t his.
9. The guy who is all about his kids. This can seem sweet in the beginning until you realize there is no room left for you in the family.
10. The guy who still dates other women while he says he really cares about you. If he really cares, he wouldn’t need the other dates.

-Jarrid Wilson, Sammantha and edited by Steven Mruma (Researcher)
Reason #1: They’ve got plenty of company
Perhaps the first reason women are happier to stay single is because they’re hardly the pariahs they were in the past. Today, a whopping 16 million boomers — more than 25 percent of men and women in this age group — are single. That means unattached women this age are rarely lacking in a little company, whether that’s a night out with some single pals or a hot date on a Saturday night. Internet dating has also helped turn the world into their oyster, presenting them with tons of prospects, many of whom are much younger and very interested in wooing an older woman.

All in all, it’s easier than ever for women this age to get the same emotional perks that their married counterparts do, whether that be affection, intimacy, shared fun or laughter. In fact, some of these singles might argue that their love lives are even more exciting by comparison, since their relationships aren’t weighed down by the draining domestic concerns that marriage entails. “You’d be surprised,” says Carol Ford, a fifty-something widow for ten years and online dater for two years, “how easy it is to find someone who is warm and interesting to be with. I’ve been out with a lot of charming men my age. Then after a romantic evening, I can go back to my little retreat and he goes to his, and there’s no squabbling over ‘Why didn’t you fold my laundry the way I like it?’”

Reason #2: They’d rather downsize domestically
While 7.6 million boomers have never been married, the majority have tied the knot at some point. Many have raised children. If they find themselves single again after the death or a spouse or divorce, marriage is rarely high on their list of priorities because, well, they’ve already been there, done that. In fact, many have spent so much of their lives compromising in the name of family — sacrificing their dreams of starting a business to take care of their kids, passing on that girls-only Caribbean vacation because their husband argued that money was tight — that being single can feel downright liberating! Ford, for one, is reveling in her ability to do what she wants, when she wants. “Today, for example, I bought a $2,500 ‘shabby chic’ entertainment unit with chicken wire on one of the panels,” she says. “My husband would have flipped out. But I didn’t have to explain to anyone why I just had to have this beat-up old cabinet!” - See more at: http://www.match.com/magazine/article/6801/I-Dont-Want-To-Get-Married/#sthash.SHNaVVNc.dpuf
Most people believe that men over 50 have long cherished their bachelordom. But these days, a growing number of women also feel that
These days, a growing number of women over 50 feel that staying single has a whole lot of benefits.
staying single has a whole lot of benefits. When I was conducting research for my book, The Boomers’ Guide to Online Dating, I was surprised by how often I heard this sentiment. This doesn’t mean these women aren’t dating—on the contrary, their calendars are packed with fun plans and romantic prospects. But if a well-meaning male suitor starts putting out feelers along the lines of, “So do you ever want to get married someday?” they’re more likely than ever to hear a woman say, “I doubt it”—and really mean it. What’s caused such a dramatic shift in 50-plus women’s romantic goals? Read on to find out.

Reason #1: They’ve got plenty of company
Perhaps the first reason women are happier to stay single is because they’re hardly the pariahs they were in the past. Today, a whopping 16 million boomers — more than 25 percent of men and women in this age group — are single. That means unattached women this age are rarely lacking in a little company, whether that’s a night out with some single pals or a hot date on a Saturday night. Internet dating has also helped turn the world into their oyster, presenting them with tons of prospects, many of whom are much younger and very interested in wooing an older woman.

All in all, it’s easier than ever for women this age to get the same emotional perks that their married counterparts do, whether that be affection, intimacy, shared fun or laughter. In fact, some of these singles might argue that their love lives are even more exciting by comparison, since their relationships aren’t weighed down by the draining domestic concerns that marriage entails. “You’d be surprised,” says Carol Ford, a fifty-something widow for ten years and online dater for two years, “how easy it is to find someone who is warm and interesting to be with. I’ve been out with a lot of charming men my age. Then after a romantic evening, I can go back to my little retreat and he goes to his, and there’s no squabbling over ‘Why didn’t you fold my laundry the way I like it?’”

Reason #2: They’d rather downsize domestically
While 7.6 million boomers have never been married, the majority have tied the knot at some point. Many have raised children. If they find themselves single again after the death or a spouse or divorce, marriage is rarely high on their list of priorities because, well, they’ve already been there, done that. In fact, many have spent so much of their lives compromising in the name of family — sacrificing their dreams of starting a business to take care of their kids, passing on that girls-only Caribbean vacation because their husband argued that money was tight — that being single can feel downright liberating! Ford, for one, is reveling in her ability to do what she wants, when she wants. “Today, for example, I bought a $2,500 ‘shabby chic’ entertainment unit with chicken wire on one of the panels,” she says. “My husband would have flipped out. But I didn’t have to explain to anyone why I just had to have this beat-up old cabinet!”

Reason #3: Their families come first
Another factor for women who already have families under their belt is how messy things can become with a new husband in the picture. Conflicts of all kinds can crop up once families blend, even if the kids are already out on their own.
It felt disloyal to hear someone doubt him.
Some women express reluctance to share their family inheritance with someone else and their children. Others worry about the emotional impact a new husband would have on the family dynamic. Rather than rock the boat, they’d rather keep things status quo. One copy editor acquaintance of mine I know from New Jersey has this story to share: “I dated a really nice man, and we had no problems with each other,” she says. “But he would criticize my 22-year-old son, and I was very sensitive to that. You know, if you bring up a child, you have this history; the long-term view. Maybe the kid isn’t doing so well at this point in time, but you remember how hard he worked to win the 400-meter butterfly in a junior varsity swim, say, and you believe he’ll dig down and be a winner again. It felt disloyal to hear someone doubt him. So I picked motherhood over marriage.”

Reason #4: They don’t need a man to make ends meet
Now more than ever, women in this age group are engaged in successful careers with lucrative salaries. The impact of this fact has been twofold: One, they’re less likely to think they need to marry a guy to get by. Two, they’re often so focused on their careers that socializing and romantic pursuits get put on the back burner. Think of bachelorette extraordinaire Secretary of State Dr. Condoleezza Rice. She is not atypical of other women with doctorates, who, as a group, are twice as likely as doctoral men never to have married or to be divorced.

Sometimes high achievers feel marriage would be more of an annoying distraction than a welcome diversion. Just ask boomer Jan Harayda, a successful author and former women’s magazine editor. “There have been many points in my career,” she says, “when I’ve really had to concentrate to meet deadlines or the work is going smoothly and I’m having so much fun with it that I just don’t want to stop.” And while many men often view marriage as a support network that will help further their professional goals, women still tend to think in either/or terms: They can have a family or a career, but “having it all,” so to speak, isn’t as easy as the slogan suggests. Whether or not this is true is debatable, but the feeling is real and very prevalent, keeping many women content pouring their energy into a career rather than a forging a long-lasting relationship.

The bottom line is, there are so many mature unmarried folks, male and female, that going solo doesn’t feel like a lonely proposition any more. If you want companionship but not necessarily commitment, love but maybe not wedlock, chances have never been better that you’re in very good company.


Judsen Culbreth is the author of The Boomers’ Guide to Online Dating. - See more at: http://www.match.com/magazine/article/6801/I-Dont-Want-To-Get-Married/#sthash.SHNaVVNc.dpuf
Most people believe that men over 50 have long cherished their bachelordom. But these days, a growing number of women also feel that
These days, a growing number of women over 50 feel that staying single has a whole lot of benefits.
staying single has a whole lot of benefits. When I was conducting research for my book, The Boomers’ Guide to Online Dating, I was surprised by how often I heard this sentiment. This doesn’t mean these women aren’t dating—on the contrary, their calendars are packed with fun plans and romantic prospects. But if a well-meaning male suitor starts putting out feelers along the lines of, “So do you ever want to get married someday?” they’re more likely than ever to hear a woman say, “I doubt it”—and really mean it. What’s caused such a dramatic shift in 50-plus women’s romantic goals? Read on to find out.

Reason #1: They’ve got plenty of company
Perhaps the first reason women are happier to stay single is because they’re hardly the pariahs they were in the past. Today, a whopping 16 million boomers — more than 25 percent of men and women in this age group — are single. That means unattached women this age are rarely lacking in a little company, whether that’s a night out with some single pals or a hot date on a Saturday night. Internet dating has also helped turn the world into their oyster, presenting them with tons of prospects, many of whom are much younger and very interested in wooing an older woman.

All in all, it’s easier than ever for women this age to get the same emotional perks that their married counterparts do, whether that be affection, intimacy, shared fun or laughter. In fact, some of these singles might argue that their love lives are even more exciting by comparison, since their relationships aren’t weighed down by the draining domestic concerns that marriage entails. “You’d be surprised,” says Carol Ford, a fifty-something widow for ten years and online dater for two years, “how easy it is to find someone who is warm and interesting to be with. I’ve been out with a lot of charming men my age. Then after a romantic evening, I can go back to my little retreat and he goes to his, and there’s no squabbling over ‘Why didn’t you fold my laundry the way I like it?’”

Reason #2: They’d rather downsize domestically
While 7.6 million boomers have never been married, the majority have tied the knot at some point. Many have raised children. If they find themselves single again after the death or a spouse or divorce, marriage is rarely high on their list of priorities because, well, they’ve already been there, done that. In fact, many have spent so much of their lives compromising in the name of family — sacrificing their dreams of starting a business to take care of their kids, passing on that girls-only Caribbean vacation because their husband argued that money was tight — that being single can feel downright liberating! Ford, for one, is reveling in her ability to do what she wants, when she wants. “Today, for example, I bought a $2,500 ‘shabby chic’ entertainment unit with chicken wire on one of the panels,” she says. “My husband would have flipped out. But I didn’t have to explain to anyone why I just had to have this beat-up old cabinet!”

Reason #3: Their families come first
Another factor for women who already have families under their belt is how messy things can become with a new husband in the picture. Conflicts of all kinds can crop up once families blend, even if the kids are already out on their own.
It felt disloyal to hear someone doubt him.
Some women express reluctance to share their family inheritance with someone else and their children. Others worry about the emotional impact a new husband would have on the family dynamic. Rather than rock the boat, they’d rather keep things status quo. One copy editor acquaintance of mine I know from New Jersey has this story to share: “I dated a really nice man, and we had no problems with each other,” she says. “But he would criticize my 22-year-old son, and I was very sensitive to that. You know, if you bring up a child, you have this history; the long-term view. Maybe the kid isn’t doing so well at this point in time, but you remember how hard he worked to win the 400-meter butterfly in a junior varsity swim, say, and you believe he’ll dig down and be a winner again. It felt disloyal to hear someone doubt him. So I picked motherhood over marriage.”

Reason #4: They don’t need a man to make ends meet
Now more than ever, women in this age group are engaged in successful careers with lucrative salaries. The impact of this fact has been twofold: One, they’re less likely to think they need to marry a guy to get by. Two, they’re often so focused on their careers that socializing and romantic pursuits get put on the back burner. Think of bachelorette extraordinaire Secretary of State Dr. Condoleezza Rice. She is not atypical of other women with doctorates, who, as a group, are twice as likely as doctoral men never to have married or to be divorced.

Sometimes high achievers feel marriage would be more of an annoying distraction than a welcome diversion. Just ask boomer Jan Harayda, a successful author and former women’s magazine editor. “There have been many points in my career,” she says, “when I’ve really had to concentrate to meet deadlines or the work is going smoothly and I’m having so much fun with it that I just don’t want to stop.” And while many men often view marriage as a support network that will help further their professional goals, women still tend to think in either/or terms: They can have a family or a career, but “having it all,” so to speak, isn’t as easy as the slogan suggests. Whether or not this is true is debatable, but the feeling is real and very prevalent, keeping many women content pouring their energy into a career rather than a forging a long-lasting relationship.

The bottom line is, there are so many mature unmarried folks, male and female, that going solo doesn’t feel like a lonely proposition any more. If you want companionship but not necessarily commitment, love but maybe not wedlock, chances have never been better that you’re in very good company.


Judsen Culbreth is the author of The Boomers’ Guide to Online Dating. - See more at: http://www.match.com/magazine/article/6801/I-Dont-Want-To-Get-Married/#sthash.SHNaVVNc.dpuf
Most people believe that men over 50 have long cherished their bachelordom. But these days, a growing number of women also feel that
These days, a growing number of women over 50 feel that staying single has a whole lot of benefits.
staying single has a whole lot of benefits. When I was conducting research for my book, The Boomers’ Guide to Online Dating, I was surprised by how often I heard this sentiment. This doesn’t mean these women aren’t dating—on the contrary, their calendars are packed with fun plans and romantic prospects. But if a well-meaning male suitor starts putting out feelers along the lines of, “So do you ever want to get married someday?” they’re more likely than ever to hear a woman say, “I doubt it”—and really mean it. What’s caused such a dramatic shift in 50-plus women’s romantic goals? Read on to find out.

Reason #1: They’ve got plenty of company
Perhaps the first reason women are happier to stay single is because they’re hardly the pariahs they were in the past. Today, a whopping 16 million boomers — more than 25 percent of men and women in this age group — are single. That means unattached women this age are rarely lacking in a little company, whether that’s a night out with some single pals or a hot date on a Saturday night. Internet dating has also helped turn the world into their oyster, presenting them with tons of prospects, many of whom are much younger and very interested in wooing an older woman.

All in all, it’s easier than ever for women this age to get the same emotional perks that their married counterparts do, whether that be affection, intimacy, shared fun or laughter. In fact, some of these singles might argue that their love lives are even more exciting by comparison, since their relationships aren’t weighed down by the draining domestic concerns that marriage entails. “You’d be surprised,” says Carol Ford, a fifty-something widow for ten years and online dater for two years, “how easy it is to find someone who is warm and interesting to be with. I’ve been out with a lot of charming men my age. Then after a romantic evening, I can go back to my little retreat and he goes to his, and there’s no squabbling over ‘Why didn’t you fold my laundry the way I like it?’”

Reason #2: They’d rather downsize domestically
While 7.6 million boomers have never been married, the majority have tied the knot at some point. Many have raised children. If they find themselves single again after the death or a spouse or divorce, marriage is rarely high on their list of priorities because, well, they’ve already been there, done that. In fact, many have spent so much of their lives compromising in the name of family — sacrificing their dreams of starting a business to take care of their kids, passing on that girls-only Caribbean vacation because their husband argued that money was tight — that being single can feel downright liberating! Ford, for one, is reveling in her ability to do what she wants, when she wants. “Today, for example, I bought a $2,500 ‘shabby chic’ entertainment unit with chicken wire on one of the panels,” she says. “My husband would have flipped out. But I didn’t have to explain to anyone why I just had to have this beat-up old cabinet!”

Reason #3: Their families come first
Another factor for women who already have families under their belt is how messy things can become with a new husband in the picture. Conflicts of all kinds can crop up once families blend, even if the kids are already out on their own.
It felt disloyal to hear someone doubt him.
Some women express reluctance to share their family inheritance with someone else and their children. Others worry about the emotional impact a new husband would have on the family dynamic. Rather than rock the boat, they’d rather keep things status quo. One copy editor acquaintance of mine I know from New Jersey has this story to share: “I dated a really nice man, and we had no problems with each other,” she says. “But he would criticize my 22-year-old son, and I was very sensitive to that. You know, if you bring up a child, you have this history; the long-term view. Maybe the kid isn’t doing so well at this point in time, but you remember how hard he worked to win the 400-meter butterfly in a junior varsity swim, say, and you believe he’ll dig down and be a winner again. It felt disloyal to hear someone doubt him. So I picked motherhood over marriage.”

Reason #4: They don’t need a man to make ends meet
Now more than ever, women in this age group are engaged in successful careers with lucrative salaries. The impact of this fact has been twofold: One, they’re less likely to think they need to marry a guy to get by. Two, they’re often so focused on their careers that socializing and romantic pursuits get put on the back burner. Think of bachelorette extraordinaire Secretary of State Dr. Condoleezza Rice. She is not atypical of other women with doctorates, who, as a group, are twice as likely as doctoral men never to have married or to be divorced.

Sometimes high achievers feel marriage would be more of an annoying distraction than a welcome diversion. Just ask boomer Jan Harayda, a successful author and former women’s magazine editor. “There have been many points in my career,” she says, “when I’ve really had to concentrate to meet deadlines or the work is going smoothly and I’m having so much fun with it that I just don’t want to stop.” And while many men often view marriage as a support network that will help further their professional goals, women still tend to think in either/or terms: They can have a family or a career, but “having it all,” so to speak, isn’t as easy as the slogan suggests. Whether or not this is true is debatable, but the feeling is real and very prevalent, keeping many women content pouring their energy into a career rather than a forging a long-lasting relationship.

The bottom line is, there are so many mature unmarried folks, male and female, that going solo doesn’t feel like a lonely proposition any more. If you want companionship but not necessarily commitment, love but maybe not wedlock, chances have never been better that you’re in very good company.


Judsen Culbreth is the author of The Boomers’ Guide to Online Dating. - See more at: http://www.match.com/magazine/article/6801/I-Dont-Want-To-Get-Married/#sthash.SHNaVVNc.dpuf

Thursday, October 30, 2014

Reasons why Men they don't want Get Married and The Types of Women That Men do Not Want to Marry



     Young men want to get married. They really do. They want a wife, children and the house with the picket fence. They just don't want it right now. Instead, men ages 25 to 33 prefer to have fun, unencumbered by commitment and responsibility.
       That's the word from a new study called "The State of Our Unions" that concludes that young, educated, professional men don't want to commit to marriage, reports Ladies Home Journal. They place great value in the institution of marriage, but the single life beckons. Since today's men--unlike their fathers and grandfathers--don't have pressure from church, employers or society to get married, they aren't.
       The researchers interviewed 290 heterosexual men in Chicago, parts of New Jersey, Washington, D.C. and Parts of Large cities in Asia and Africa (Logos,Pretoria, Nairobi, Hong kong, Seoul, Mumbai, Dar es salaam etc)  .
        For the most part they were employed full-time and earned between $20,000 to $35,000 annually. Most had either attended some college or graduated. None of them were married.

          10 reasons young men don't want to get married now:

1. They can have casual sex without marriage, something that is far more common today and accepted than in generations past.
2. By living with a girlfriend, they can enjoy all the benefits of a wife without having to say, "I do." This is a no-risk way to test the idea of marriage.
3. Men want to avoid the financial risks of divorce. What better way to do that than to not get married in the first place?

4. Since they don't have to worry about their biological clocks, men say they want to wait until they are older to have children. They really do not want to be pressured into marriage by a woman whose primary goal is to have kids.
5. Their greatest fear is that marriage will require too many changes, compromises and responsibilities. After all, it's a lot more fun to play poker with the boys all night long.
6. Men are romantics at heart. They believe in a soul mate, and they're willing to wait for her. What is a soul mate? Men define her as someone who accepts them just the way they are and does not want to change them. These men don't want to settle for second-best.
7. There are very few social pressures to marry. While their dads were pressured by religion, employers or society to settle down and say "I do," men today are free from that.
8. Men are reluctant to marry a woman who already has children, primarily to avoid competition and conflict with the children's biological father.
9. They want to become a homeowner before they become a husband. Being established financially is an important goal many men want to achieve before they marry.
10. Men want to enjoy the single life as long as possible, especially as they become accustomed to having their own space and routines and not being responsible to anyone else.

Types of Women That Men do Not Want to Marry

     I’ve recently read a very funny article written by Samantha Daniels, who is a well-known professional matchmaker and relationship expert, about different types of women that men do not want to marry. I must admit that this subject really got me thinking about all the little yet quite annoying things a woman can do to chase away the man of her dreams. This is why, if you are trying to find the perfect man and get married, you need to know about the things you might be doing wrong and you need to be smart about your dating. So, just read on and find out about those types of women that men do not want to marry.

Miss “Extremely Jealous”

    If we’re talking about types of women that men do not want to marry, we must surely include this very popular type of lady. She is always very distrusting and suspicious and even though she might have been hurt in the past, this is not an excuse for behaving like this in all her relationships. So, that’s why, most of the time, guys will break up with her because after all “no one can go through his life being prosecuted for somebody else's crimes.”


 Miss “Bossy”

     I must admit with shame that sometimes I am this type of woman, but in my defense, I must say that I often do it unconsciously and that I can’t simply help myself. At first, a man might think that this trait is kind of cute, that he likes a woman who is ambitious and knows what she wants, but after a while, he will realize that things are a bit different and he will “feel like he is in grammar school being told what to do by his second grade teacher.” So, if you recognize yourself in my description, try to do something about it and be more approachable.

Miss “Playing Games”

     I know that sometimes, it may seem fun to play all sorts of fun games (well, fun for you), but in the long term this behavior will surely damage your relationship. Maybe at first, a man will be intrigued by a hard-to-get lady, but after a while he will want to be with someone who is a bit nicer and more stable. So, no matter how tempting it may seem, stop playing games with his heart! Act a little bit more responsibly and think about his feelings too!

Miss “I Have Nothing else Going on”


   This is definitely one of the types of women a man will not want to marry. Even though at first he might be flattered by all her attention and kindness, in the long term he will feel suffocated and all that attention will seem overwhelming. Men love a woman who knows what she wants, who makes plans that don’t necessarily involve him, who has a goal in her life and who doesn’t live only for him and for seeing him happy. So ladies, no matter how in love you might be, don’t forget about yourself or about your dreams!

Miss “Daddy Issues”

     Experts said that this type of woman usually dates older and powerful men because deep down, she is actually looking for a father figure and not a partner whom she will want to marry someday. Maybe at first a man will be impressed that a younger woman finds him attractive, but after a while, he will realize that his special lady has a couple of issues that she needs to resolve if she wants to settle down with him

Miss “I Never Eat”

      This is another very frequent mistake most women make nowadays because they want to look good for their men: they never eat. It’s not a healthy behavior and in the long term, it might even have some serious consequences and you could develop an eating disorder. Also, keep in mind that a man loves you for more than the way you look and he will want to share his life with someone who appreciates the little things in life, like the joy of eating a cupcake while watching your favorite movie. You know, it’s not fun to always eat alone.

Miss “I Want to Change You”

     This is another common mistake most women are tempted to do and it is trying to change their partner to suit their needs or wishes. Well, maybe that will work for a while and maybe some guys will even like that and will let themselves be changed because of their own insecurities, but keep in mind, ladies, most men find this type of woman quite unattractive. They wouldn’t want to stay in a relationship with her for too long.

Miss “Loves to Gossip”

     No wonder guys don’t like this woman! This type of lady likes to gossip a lot and she enjoys talking about other people and other people’s problems all day long. As a result, a lot of men will tend to act prudently around her because they never know what she might say about them behind their backs. Maybe at first they will find her entertaining, but once they’ll get to know her better, the only thing they will want to do is leave.

Miss “Keeping up with Everybody else”

     Most guys will tend to avoid this type of woman because she is constantly concerned about keeping up with everybody else. She desperately needs to know that she is at least as good, as beautiful, as smart or even as wealthy as everyone she knows. Her behavior and her dysfunctional beliefs can put a lot of pressure on her partner, who eventually will get fed up that she doesn’t appreciate who she is or what she has and instead she wishes to be somebody else.

Miss "attention Seeker"


    I think we all know a girl who craves attention wherever she goes and just can't stand not having all eyes on her. She'll do just about anything to get people to look at her whether it's by her actions, her appearance or both. It can be fun hanging out with the girl who loves and commands attention, but being with someone who constantly needs to be in the spotlight can get old.



Miss "flirt"

     This type of woman is similar to the attention seeker however, her main goal is to make her partner jealous. You can typically find her flirting with random dudes or showing off her assets. All of her actions are flirtatious in nature and loves any and all attention from men. Men like to be with someone who takes pride in their appearance, but no one wants to feel like they are constantly having to fight off other men because their girl is giving off mixed signals!

Miss "high Maintenance"

     While there are some men who like high maintenance women, many won't dare marry someone who needs to be waited on hand and foot. We all like to be spoiled by our partner, but someone who never cooks, cleans or does much of anything besides demand the very best of everything might have a hard time finding someone who wants to spend their life catering to their partner's needs.

Miss "clingy"

     You know this girl. The girl who has to constantly call, text or be with her man or she's not happy. The girl who needs the world to know how much she loves her guy and can't seem to talk about anything else but him. The girl who has to know what her guy is doing at all times. It's nice to feel wanted and loved, but this type of behavior can be off-putting. It's great to show someone you care, just don't smother them.

Miss "mommy Dearest"

       This one is a little controversial since there are men out there who like to be taken care of, but most men will be turned off by a woman who treats them like a child. When I say treating him like a child, I'm talking about fixing his hair, wiping his nose or cutting up his food and feeding him when you're out in public. Most men would be embarrassed by this behavior and let's face it, he already has a mother, let him be!
  

Miss "Party Girl"

      Party girls are fun to hang out with. They're wild, free-spirited and always down to have fun. As much as guys like a girl who can party until the wee hours, it's not necessarily one of the qualities they look for in a wife. While it's fun to be with the life of the party when you're single, guys won't be too keen on marrying someone who sleeps all day and parties all night.
     A lot of women try too hard to change in order to please their dream guy, hoping that by doing this, they will get married someday. You should remember though, that usually men want a happy and easy going partner with whom they will share the little pleasures of life. So maybe, sometimes, you shouldn’t try so much and just be yourself ‘cause you’re so fabulous and amazing just the way you are. Do you know any other types of women that men do not want to marry? Do tell!

 --From the Editors at Netscape and Steven Mruma,, Researcher also written in collaboration with editor Lisa Washington.   
   

Sources: huffingtonpost.com



Saturday, October 11, 2014

TANZANIA IS IN DANGER:- PROSTITUTION BESIDE OF MONEY, DESIRE, AGE, STUDENTS AND HIV AIDS..


By Steven Mruma.
       Prostitution is generally defined as performing, offering, or agreeing to perform a sexual act for any money, property, token, object, article, or anything of value. 1 Prostitution of children; therefore, is defined as the sexual exploitation of a child for remuneration in cash or in-kind, usually but not always organized by an intermediary such as a procurer, family member, pimp, or madame.

       Hundreds of thousands of children have been lured into prostitution. 2 Though the prostitution of female children is more widely publicized, male children are also susceptible to the same dangers as females in this world of exploitation.

    Dar es Salaam does not sleep. Night activities are varied and real. As petty traders line up the streets with fresh and imperishable supplies, promiscuity thrives on the other side of the cosmopolitan capital.
     Here you can see ten distinctive styles of engaging in commercial sex business. Different groups but with a similar mission (money and in few cases desires) keep the industry vibrant.
Enduring efforts by the Tanzania Commission for Aids (TACAIDS) and other civil organizations to stamp out new HIV infections seem to fall on deaf ears as the daring ‘enterprise’ continues to draw customers from different walks of life.
Dialogue with the ladies at the middle of this business is not an easy accomplishment either. Every minute has to be paid for, the ladies insist, “time is money”. Offer of drinks and bites could appease them to share information about ‘life in the dark’.
However, those willing to tell their stories attributed poverty, joblessness and pleasure as reasons for selling their bodies. “But the good thing about this business is that the number of customers is ever growing. They are of different calibers. Rich people of Asian origin, Europeans and Africans visit the localities for satisfaction,
     More about the true nature of commercial sex business in Dar es Salaam includes involvement of young women both educated and those without a strong base in education. Majority of those who volunteered to speak confess that commercial sex business was not their choice of life but were left with no other option to offset hardships in life.
       Each of the ten identified operation sites has distinct characteristics accommodating a specific category of ‘service providers’. In terms of functionality, the groups have one thing in common; ‘keep the number at a manageable level to minimize competition.’
The hotspots include Ohio Street, high-class drinking nightclubs and some of the tourist hotels in Dar es Salaam where ‘hunting’ ladies would wait for ‘hungry’ customers. These can speak English, a bit of French and Spanish. They have access to well-off customers.

OTHER SIDE OF PROSTITUTION IN TANZANIA 

         Graduate with A’s not with AIDS” at the University of Dar es Salaam tells the grim story of desperately cash-strapped female students who are resorting to prostitution to survive.
“College life is too tough, and I don’t have other means to earn an income, what to do? I have to inevitably make use of my body to survive,” said Mariam, 24, who is pursuing a degree in social work at the Institute of Social Work here.  Mariam and other students interviewed declined to give their full names.
         As an off-campus student, Mariam is entitled to a daily stipend of 7,500 Tanzanian Shillings (TZS), or about $4.60, from the Higher Education Students Loan Board, to help cover her meals and accommodation, but she complains the tiny allowance is rarely being paid on time.
        To cope with the soaring cost of living in this sprawling city, Mariam, who comes from Singida region in central Tanzania, shares a dilapidated rented room with a colleague in the Kijitonyama neighborhood, nearby the college. A big chunk of her allowance goes to rent.
Almost daily, she gets up in the middle of the night, puts on her make-up and a sexy dress and joins a stream of fellow students heading to the up-market neighborhood of Sinza, where they troll for prospective clients.
      Despite the danger of contracting HIV/AIDS, which members of parliament and university officials say has infected a number of her fellow students, Mariam believes that selling sex to make money to sustain her college life is a risk worth taking.
A matter of life or death
     “It’s a matter of life or death…but at least I have the knowledge to protect myself from the deadly virus. There is no excuse for not using a condom,” she said.
Mariam joins the throng of other prostitutes in Sinza, which has become a center of nightlife, including nightclubs, bars and myriad guest houses catering to short-term customers.
     “My mind is very clear, I am not supposed to do this business but since I am far away from home and I don’t have financial support, I suppose I have to be in the game,” she said.
Despite a shy demeanor, Mariam proves adept when dealing with potential customers. She said she targets wealthy married men because they pay more.
“Married men are best ones to deal with. You don’t have to bargain the price since you are assured of bagging extra money,” she said.
On average she would earn TZS.30,000 to 45,000, or between about $18 and $28, per night  depending on the flow of customers. She charges TZS.10,000 to TZS.15,000, or between $6 and $9, per transaction.
“I usually decline customers who want an overnight sex, since I need time for study… it’s a risky business but we do it,” she said.
 “Some clients don’t pay, I am always very careful to ensure that they pay me in advance, “she said of the challenges she faces.
 Mariam’s story illustrates the plight of hundreds of other female university students who see  prostitution as the only way to finance their survival while they study.
       The Dar es Salaam University Students’ Organization (DARUSO) has said that some of its female members, especially those who are off-campus, have been forced to seek multiple partners to supplement their tiny, and often late, allowance payments.
 DARUSO’s minister for health told TrustLaw that “It’s a pity that our colleagues are getting caught in the trap but merely because the students’ allowances are not enough… the government should take this issue seriously to improve students’ welfare”
Simon Kivamwo, chairman of Association of Journalist Against AIDS (AJAAT), said  prostitution is one of the contributing factors to the escalation of the HIV/AIDS pandemic, primarily due to the pressing economic needs of female students.
    “Women have become the soft target for HIV infections because of their inferior position in the society. This has to change,” he says.
 A growing social and economic problem
Experts say a number of students getting into prostitution is indicative of a growing social and  economic problem.
      Justa Mwaituka runs Kiota for Women’s Health and Development (KIWOHEDE), a nonprofit that assists women and girls vulnerable to exploitation and abuse, such as prostitution, trafficking and underpaid labor, due to poverty and neglect.  She noted that the Tanzanian system of education does not prepare students, especially girls,  to be economically independent.
“There’s a need to empower our children both morally and economically so that they don’t venture into risky behavior” she said.
      According to the latest behavioral and biological surveillance survey conducted in 2011,  HIV/AIDS prevalence among female sex workers in Dar es Salaam is high.
The survey, commissioned by the Ministry of Health and Social Welfare, found that about 31.4 percent of 7,500 female sex workers aged between 15 and 35 are HIV positive.
Experts said prostitutes are at high risk of contracting HIV infection because the nature of their job allows for inconsistent use of condoms.
     “A prostitute had little power to negotiate the use of condoms to customers who insist on unprotected sex,” said Method Kazaura, a researcher from Muhimbili University of Health and Allied Sciences.
Although illegal, prostitution has attracted hundreds of young women, including university graduates, who find it difficult to secure jobs within their study disciplines.
At 29, Susan, who holds a Bachelors of Arts degree in sociology from Tumaini University here, said she has not been able to find a job despite having all the required qualifications.
Members of parliament, citing the problem of prostitution and HIV/AIDS infection among female students, have urged the government to issue stipends in a more timely fashion.
     “These are leaders of tomorrow, but the environment they live in does not prepare them to take the challenge. The government has to make students’ welfare its top priority,” said Kebwe Stephen Kebwe, an MP on the Parliamentary HIV/AIDS committee.
According to Dar es Salaam Special Zone Police Commander Suleiman Kova, the police recently  conducted a special operation which nabbed 53 commercial sex workers, out of whom 18 were students in various institutions.
       Section 146 of Tanzania’s penal code states “A woman who lives wholly or in part on the earnings of prostitution or who is proved to have, for the purpose of gain, exercised control, direction or influence other over the movements of a prostitute in such a manner as to show that she is aiding, abetting or compelling her prostitution with any person, or generally,  commits an offense.
Despite frequent crackdowns, however, public prosecutors have often failed to institute criminal charges against prostitutes since the law regards it as a minor of fence.

     On the other side of prostitution for a very small amount is due to the growing and very loving character having sex, this is know due to the observations of interviews with some of the prostitute. in unusual circumstances, I met a sister who is in my investigations, I discovered that her family grew with the life of a very high standard, can be accessed desire to know what source he decide to do prostitution, she took time to answer me, but came up with the only answer "that is my practice to have sex almost every day and in case I missed then to form in a very difficult time and that my soul content, i must meet at least two or three men a day to satisfy me at the rate I'm going and it's hard to find men and that is why I sat in place of prostitution to find men"  finished speaking confidently, while the other side still prostitution is the love of sex as an individual character? .


By Steven Mruma.
  Credit:- 24TANZANIA, (S.Mubiru) and Thomson Reuters Foundation (K.Makoye) and (Lisa A.)

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